Argus Hamilton

© Copyright 2014
Sunday, August 31, 2014

Argus Hamilton

BEVERLY HILLS--Happy Sunday, everybody, and God Bless America.

    Southern California beaches saw the biggest waves in twenty years Friday as Hurricane Marie roiled the Baja, creating twenty-foot waves. Some slammed into beachside homes in Malibu. One wave was so powerful that it knocked Arnold Schwarzenegger off his housekeeper.

    A Texas brewer is selling a single pack of ninety-nine cans of beers in one seven-foot-long container. It makes a cultural statement. If you see a fifty-year-old man on a bicycle in Los Angeles he's working out, but if you see a fifty year-old man on a bicycle in Texas, he's got a DUI.

    JP Morgan Chase bank was attacked by hackers from Russia in retaliation for U.S. sanctions this week. You could easily tell that it was the work of Russian hackers. The security guards found an axe blade stuck in the bank manager's computer screen when they got to work this morning.

    Russia's sports federation met Thursday and began making plans for Russia to host the World Cup in four years. The Russians say they will treat visiting fans just like royalty. Does that mean they're planning to gather up half a dozen of them and shoot them in the basement?

    Russian troops invaded southeast Ukraine on Thursday to seize the land corridor which connects Russia to Crimea below Ukraine. Hope is slipping fast now. President Obama went on TV and promised the Ukrainian people if they like their corridor, they get to keep their corridor .

    The NFL announced Friday it'll suspend a player who commits domestic violence for six games. It's a nasty reputation to carry. Last night, Ray Rice crashed his car into a freeway wall and when police inspected the damage, they asked him how long he'd been dating the car.

    The IRS admitted it erased Lois Lerner's Blackberry after she was subpoenaed to testify in Congress. This scandal could be converted to good use. If the Republicans really want to destroy ISIS they should endorse it as a conservative non-profit and let the IRS take them down.

    President Obama stunned reporters Thursday telling them doesn't yet have a strategy to deal with ISIS terrorists. It's not from lack of trying. President Obama just spent two weeks consulting with his top advisor, but what does Hank Haney know about eradicating terrorism?

    Somali American Amadi Muhammed became the second American to die in just two days while fighting for ISIS in Syria on Thursday. They were both raised in a Minneapolis enclave called Little Somalia. Five years ago the pirates moved to Minnesota to study under the Vikings.

    ISIS terrorist forces destroyed oil wells in northern Iraq Thursday while they retreated from bombings. It just drew a shrug. So many Americans drive electric cars that ISIS would strike more fear in our hearts if they adopted President Obama's plan to shut down coal plants.

    Burger King bought a Canadian donut firm, sparking rumors it's off to Canada for lower taxes. A new Forbes survey says Canadians are now wealthier than Americans per capita. Six years ago, the U.S. was the world's only superpower, and here we are today, Canada's Mexicans.

    President Obama is reportedly preparing to announce an executive order addressing the problem of illegal immigration. How about a twelve-hundred-mile-long WalMart along the border? Americans can use the front to shop, Mexicans can use the rear to work, and everybody's happy.

    The NCAA college football season got underway Thursday and will end for the first time in a national championship playoff . After the title game, fifty kids who worked on a field all year for free will hold up a ten million dollar check to their school. Had Margaret Mitchell seen today's college football system she never would have said the Old South was gone with the wind.


© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.

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