Argus Hamilton

© Copyright 2014

Friday, April 24, 2015

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD--God Bless America, and how's everybody?

ABC's Diane Sawyer will interview Olympic gold medal decathlon legend Bruce Jenner tonight about his transitioning into a woman. The Kardashian family and their lawyers warned ABC they'll be watching to see if he defames them. By getting B-cup implants he could be diluting the family brand.

The Senate is moving to give President Obama fast-track authority to negotiate the Trans-Asian Free Trade Pact. They trust the president to negotiate U.S. foreign trade deals. Ever since Obama got one deserter in exchange for five Taliban commanders, we are up to our necks in fabulous offers.

The White House reported that Secret Service agents intercepted yet another intruder jumping over the fence to try to get into the White House Monday. It's the sixth attempt in a year. The Secret Service won't reveal the identity of the latest fence-jumper, they will only say that she tore her pantsuit.

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston assured reporters Tuesday that the shoplifting charge against him last year was a big misunderstanding. He got caught stealing twenty-nine crabs from a grocery store. The Tallahassee police cleared Jameis Winston after the crabs refused to press charges.

The Weather Channel reports that thunderstorms and heavy lightning hit the Eastern Seaboard Wednesday, disrupting thousands of flights. Just hours later, tornadoes swept across the Great Plains and hail storms battered the Midwest. It sounds like somebody didn't get what she wanted for Earth Day.

Willie Nelson announced Tuesday he will market his own brand of marijuana in Colorado and Washington state called Willie's Reserve. The consumer demand is growing rapidly. In Washington state, Colorado and the District of Columbia, smoking pot is now legal, and in California, it's mandatory.

The Centers for Disease Control released a list of public safety tips Tuesday to help keep Ebola from spreading. They say if you have suffered from Ebola, you should abstain from sex. And if you are having trouble abstaining from sex, a little trick you can use is to tell people that you've had Ebola.

JFK Airport security in New York caught a woman in the terminal Friday carrying four pounds of cocaine that was hidden inside her panties underneath her skirt. The video is just hilarious. The drug-sniffing dog showed no respect for the fact that we may soon be electing our first woman president.

President Obama flew to the Everglades to give an Earth Day speech in which he declared that the world's greatest threat is global warming. His mood was very grim. He'd just viewed an ISIS video that showed an ISIS fighter breaking into a New York skyscraper and beheading the thermostat.

The USS Theodore Roosevelt led a U.S. flotilla to the Arabian Sea to prevent an Iranian convoy from delivering arms to the rebels in Yemen. We can't allow the Iranians to sell or distribute weapons to the rebels in Yemen. The Obama Administration is bound by its treaties and Yemen is Crips territory.

ISIS supreme leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was severely wounded in a U.S. bombing raid on an ISIS convoy Monday. It's the fourth time in nine months he's been wounded by U.S. bombs, but he keeps bouncing back. His goal is to replace Andy Griffith as the commercial spokesman for Obamacare.

John Hinckley sought release from the sanitarium where he's stayed since he tried to kill Ronald Reagan to impress his imaginary love Jodie Foster in 1981. It may be safe. Last year when Jodie Foster married her girlfriend Alexandra Hedison, Hinckley was able to move from denial to acceptance.

The Census Bureau reported the number of immigrants in the U.S. will reach fifty-one million in eight years and growing. We're headed back to square one. The numbers show that in twenty-nine years, whites will be in the minority, which means that in thirty years, whites will believe in colonialism.



© Copyright 2015 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.

How the First Amendment Came to Protect Topless Dancing: A Citizen's Guide to the Incorporation Doctrine. By Susan Shelley. Kindle Edition.

Click here to read
"Restoring the Raise: How to Cause a Labor Shortage in America"
"How to Set Up a Free Country"
"In Defense of the Banks"
"The Second Amendment and the Big Surprise"
"Defending Capitalism"
"The Motive for War: How to End the Violence in Iraq"

"The Secret Life of the Bill of Rights"
"The Tyranny of the Children"
"A Plan to Get Out of Iraq: Blackstone's Fundamental Rights and the Power of Property"
"Judicial Activism and the Constitutional Amendment on Marriage"
"How to Get Congress to Foot the Bill for Illegal Immigration, and Fast"
"Cornered: The Supreme Court's Ten Commandments Problem"
"Why There Is No Constitutional Right to Privacy, and How to Get One"
"How the First Amendment Came to Protect Topless Dancing"
"Marijuana, Prohibition and the Tenth Amendment"
by Susan Shelley, author of
"The 37th Amendment"


Editors:  Add Argus Hamilton's column to your newspaper

Note to the media:  Want to use a quote?  Please click here.


Back to Argus Hamilton's Home Page

Today's Column

Recent Columns

About Argus

Book Argus For Your Next Event

E-mail Argus

Complaints

Links

How to Start Your Day With The Jokes

Back to ExtremeInk.com