Argus Hamilton


© Copyright 2017

Friday, March 24, 2017

Argus Hamilton HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?

Michael Moore urged Democrats to declare a state of emergency until they finish investigating President Trump’s ties to the Russians. Tim Allen just accused Hollywood of being as politically intolerant as Hitler’s Germany. The 1970s just telephoned the 2010s and said you win, you’re crazier.

The White House disclosed Tuesday Ivanka Trump has been given an office in the West Wing with top security clearance where she will advise her dad on policy. He trusts her. Ivanka has been the apple of her father’s eye ever since she named her first baby Donald Trump Grandson and Casino.

Pope Francis issued a message to young people in the Catholic Church to not get caught up in the false reality of social media Tuesday. The pope also indicated he’s considering a new ruling that will allow priests to marry. He may be more serious about celibacy than any pope who ever lived.

Congress argued over the health care bill Thursday as moderate and conservative Republicans battled over free market solutions versus government aid. Health care exists in a world all its own. Always Leave Them Wanting More is the first rule of the stage, but it’s the last rule of anesthesiology.

California Democrats wrote a bill to pull state money out of any company that helps build the border wall with Mexico. They should relax. Once the border wall goes up, the Democrats can win back the White House in four years by promising to tear it down and Make America Clean Again.

The U.S. and Britain Tuesday banned air passengers from ten Muslim countries from carrying electronic devices larger than a cell phone. That was before the London attack. Today the same air passengers are banned from driving anything larger than a Smart Car once they get off the plane.

Londoners looked on in horror Wednesday as a Muslim terrorist drove over a crowd of people on the city’s famed Westminster Bridge. It leads into the two Houses of Parliament. President Trump’s message of condolence was stayed by a judge in Hawaii who fined the brakes manufacturer.

President Trump’s anti-terrorism advisor Sebastian Gorka confirmed that he and his father were members of a Hungarian anti-communist group that had neo-Nazi ties. He admitted he’s a member of the neo-Nazi organization, but added quickly that he’s not a full member. So it’s all good.

President Trump said Monday he will take his presidential salary but donate it to charity. The same day he dropped two hundred-twenty places in the Forbes list of the world’s wealthiest people. President Trump promptly called up the Russian hackers and told them to get their priorities straight.

House Republicans faced the possibility of angry constituents in their home districts Thursday if the failed to pass a bill that replaces Obamacare and its the high premiums and high deductibles. Obamacare gives you a choice in your health care coverage. You can sell your house or buy the farm.

North Korea fired a long-range missile Wednesday that exploded on the launch pad. Usually they go a little farther. North Korea has fired so many missiles that barely made it into the ocean that they’ve formed an offshore barrier reef that protects the country from an amphibious invasion.

Russia News reports that work has begun at Chernobyl on a giant concrete and steel arch that will cover the site of the nuclear reactor that exploded thirty-one years ago. They’ve actually built a Disneyworld-like theme park near the site. The difference is at this park, the six-foot mouse is for real.

The Bureau of Engraving and Printing reports Underground Railroad icon Harriet Tubman’s picture on the twenty-dollar bill is up to Trump. One thing we know. If she does wind up on the currency, Harriet Tubman is going see a lot more snow on the twenty than she ever did on the railroad.



© Copyright 2017 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.

 

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