Argus Hamilton


© Copyright 2016

Friday, September 23, 2016

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?

New York police released a notebook kept by bomber Ahmed Khan Rahami Wednesday whose family owned a friend chicken restaurant in Manhattan. He intended to kill some Americans with pressure cooker bombs. He simply lacked the patience to kill a lot more Americans with fried chicken.

New York’s disgraced Anthony Weiner was busted sexting with a fifteen-year-old girl. This’ll help him when he runs for Congress again. He can do his door-to-door campaigning at the same time he is required by law to go to each house in the neighborhood to let them know he is in the area.

Hillary Clinton fell behind Donald Trump in the Fox News presidential poll in Ohio, Nevada, Florida, and North Carolina. It just never ends. Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson is at eight percent and Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein is polling at two percent, tied with skim milk.

Hillary Clinton diagnosed Donald Trump as paranoid for ever doubting that President Obama was born in the U.S. We’re all a little bit paranoid. The other day, I thought that someone was talking about me because my ears were burning, but then I realized was talking on a Samsung phone.

Boxing legend Don King hosted a Donald Trump rally for Donald Trump in Ohio Wednesday where King regaled the audience with inner-city humor. During a story that King told during the introduction he blurted out the N-word. This ensured that security wouldn’t throw him out of the rally.

Donald Trump took questions from the crowd at his Cleveland rally Wednesday where he said he thinks that police powers to Stop-and-Frisk can help put an end to black-on-black crime. This is big news. Donald Trump is finally reaching out to black voters, but it’s to check them for weapons.

Charlotte, North Carolina, erupted in race riots over a black cop shooting and killing a black suspect. The TV cameras did show one scene of human brotherhood. They showed a black guy and a white guy and a Hispanic guy running down a street, and they were carrying a TV set together.

Donald Trump addressed a massive rally in Ohio Wednesday and he kept them entertained for over an hour. He’s figured out that politics has become fully wed to pop culture. Donald Trump opened his speech by blaming Barack Obama’s weak domestic policy for Brad and Angelina’s divorce.

The Hollywood Reporter confirmed on Tuesday that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from her husband Brad Pitt, citing irreconcilable differences. The settlement talks could be excruciating. Under California law, whenever a Hollywood couple divorces, they have to split the publicity fifty-fifty.

Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from Brad Pitt due to irreconcilable differences Tuesday. She will be in tremendous demand on the Hollywood dating scene. If you go out with Angelina Jolie and want to make a nice impression on her you don’t bring her flowers, you bring her a Third World baby.

Angelina Jolie’s divorce petition Monday was prompted by an affair Brad Pitt was having with French actress Marion Cotillard amid reports that Jolie objected to Pitt’s daily drinking and pot smoking. This mess will take forever to sort out. The custody hearing will last longer than the O.J. trial.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians showed Kim arriving at Kanye’s rap concert in L.A. Sunday looking really sensational. She said she’s lost all her baby weight and stays in top shape using a new technique. Everywhere she walks she takes two dumbbells, their names are Kourtney and Khloe.

Lester Holt said the debate will center around America’s direction, achieving prosperity and U.S. security. Then Lester heard from NBC ad sales. Now Holt says the debate will center around sex with beauty pageant contestants, unfaithful spouses, crooked real estate deals and lying to Congress.







© Copyright 2016 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.

 


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