Argus Hamilton

© Copyright 2018

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?

Donald Trump stood by his border policy and endured his daily media flogging Tuesday. He’s been a Russian spy, a porn star paramour, lately a fascist, and now he throws babies in concentration camps. One reason why Trump is so popular is that it’s like having a different president every month.

The Hollywood Reporter reports Netflix executives just issued a workplace sexual harassment rule that bans you from staring at anyone longer than five seconds. It’s the five-second rule. It’s a real breakthrough to see that women finally have the same rights as a sandwich you drop on the floor.

Nevada’s Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel Dennis Hof won the election for the Republican nomination for a seat in the Nevada legislature. Naturally there are some hygiene concerns. Washing his hands and disinfecting himself will be very important, before he goes back to the brothel.

The New York Daily News reported that a power outage caused major delays in subway service on New York’s West Side Tuesday. The heat added to the misery. New York subway riders are now griping it costs so much money to ride the subway that at these prices, it’s cheaper to urinate at home.

Defense Secretary James Mattis gave a speech Friday and hailed President Trump’s using the threat of war to bring North Korea to the peace table. However, having the strongest military on this planet isn’t enough for some presidents. Trump wants a Space Force, and the action figures that go with it.

Washington Post employees asked owner and Amazon owner Jeff Bezos for a raise Monday after his net worth hit one hundred fifty billion. You can’t get that rich and keep your conscience. Amazon announced that just in time for Christmas, in November they’ll begin delivering Guatemalan children.

Hillary Clinton addressed a fundraiser in New York City Monday where she pronounced that separating families at the border constitutes a moral crisis. This is in Hillary’s wheelhouse. Who knows more about moral crises than someone who’s been married to Bill Clinton for forty-two years?

President Trump ripped Mexico’s government Tuesday for failing to stop the Central America refugees from traveling up Mexico to reach the U.S. and U.S. immigration lawyers. They’re home free from there. Taco Bell announced Tuesday they’ve changed their slogan to Make a Petition for the Border.

Rudy Giuliani said he was just bluffing Monday when he urged Bob Mueller to wrap up his probe of President Trump. Under the law, there are three ways you can declare your guilt. You can plead guilty, you can plead no contest, or you can hire Rudy Giuliani to be your defense attorney.

Paul Manafort’s bail was revoked Friday over a witness-tampering charge and he’s now in a federal minimum security prison awaiting trial. Life’s not too bad in there. Last month Trump pardoned three men from prison but two of them turned him down because it’d cost them their health insurance.

The Interior Department took in hundreds of millions of dollars auctioning off Gulf of Mexico acreage for oil drilling. It included previously-banned acres of shallow ocean water drilling. If the U.S. doesn’t allow any drilling where it’s shallow, it’ll put every dentist in Los Angeles out of business.

USA Today reported that many Central Americans being detained at the border are returning to the U.S. to work the fields in this year’s harvest. That’s a welcome sign if they can make it in. All the recent salmonella virus outbreaks indicate that farm workers had to leave the U.S. so fast after the last election they didn’t have time to teach Americans to wash their hands before picking the produce.


© Copyright 2018 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.


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