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Wednesday, March 28, 2012 

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?

Idaho Ku Klux Klan leader Shaun Winkler announced he will run for Bonner County sheriff in May. His timing was bad. Right now everyone thinks that anyone who wears a hood is protesting racial profiling in Florida, so he'll have trouble getting his message out.

India's Elite Football league was founded Friday, consisting of players from India. It's all made possible by cell phone technology. Eighty thousand fans in the stadium can continue to answer technical support calls from America while they're watching the game.

Kim Kardashian was flour-bombed by a protester when she arrived at a club in L.A. to promote her new perfume. She just laughed and walked inside covered in white powder. She got a huge cheer when she entered the room before everyone realized it was just flour.

John Edwards was reported Thursday to have used campaign funds to hire a call girl four years ago. At the time he was cheating on his dying wife with his videographer. He had to pay two hundred dollars an hour to find a woman to tell him what a great guy his is.

Psychology Today published a workplace study finding that one of every twenty-five bosses is a clinical psychopath. They all lean that direction. Only someone who's nuts would open a business and pay for everybody's health care until their kids turn twenty-six.

Jesse Jackson led protests demanding arrest of the Hispanic man who shot Trayvon Martin. Many wore a t-shirt with the shooter's photo on it calling him a cracker. Some Hispanics were insulted by the label, while others carried pictures of it to help them get work in Alabama.

President Obama traveled to the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea Sunday where he peered through binoculars. He couldn't believe what he was seeing in North Korea. Here was a country where the rich paid their fair share and it was in ruins.

President Obama urged North Korea not to launch its missile into space in honor of the late leader Kim Jong-Il. It's sentimental. The satellite is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream that Kim Jong-Il didn't live to see, better reception for porn channels in North Korea.

President Obama met with China's leader Hu Jintao in Seoul Monday. The president of China had no choice but to meet with Obama in person. He's been calling trying to collect on the debt but the White House has Caller ID and the president won't pick up.

President Obama was caught on a hot mic in Seoul telling the Russians he'll have more flexibility about arms reduction after he's re-elected. This was not helpful. It just re-ignites the debate in the Republican Party over whether he is a Muslim or a communist.

Pope Benedict arrived in Cuba Monday where dissidents hope that his visit will help end political repression by Castro. These people deserve hope. You know political repression is bad when the people believe the arrival of a German is relatively liberating.

A Turkish men's shampoo commercial showed an Adolf Hitler speech with the sub-titles ordering Turkish men to stop using woman's shampoo. It tells you a lot about Turkey's culture. This tells you that in the next war, Israel is going to have to shoot with both hands.

The Hunger Games took in the third-biggest box office opening weekend with over one hundred forty million. It's set in a future where young people hunt each other down and fight to the death and the winner gets to eat. It's based on a job fair in New York City.

© Copyright 2012 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.

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